Sad and bad things from the past year will soon be a thing of the past as the New Year quickly approaches. Do your best to make everyone you love happy, and start with a cute and funny New Year’s wish.

Read through some funny New Year’s Text Messages and send the ones you like to people you care about.

Funny New Year Wishes and Messages

Best Happy New Year Funny Wishes

– My nose is red, my eyes are blurry;
My head is pounding, my tongue is furry.
It’s gonna be a great year; don’t you worry.
Happy New Year!

– Here’s to a mediocre New Year! Hey, being honest is one of my resolutions. May 2023 bring us fun and laughter!

– This year, I resolve to make no mistakes. LOL!

– They say the New Year is a blank book, but I have writer’s block.

– Kiss me at midnight. Or whenever you want to, actually.

– In 2023, I’ll be your biggest fan. I just hope I don’t blow it! Happy New Year!

– Cheers to a new year! Time to get our butts in gear.

– Dream small, and you can achieve it all. It’s the only wish that may come true for the New Year!

– It’s 2023 already? I need a few more weeks.

– It’s a new year, but with the same old problems. Oh, well, at least we’re alive. For now.

– In 2023, if you see light at the end of the tunnel, be sure it’s not a train headed straight for you.

– 365 new trips around the sun, 365 new opportunities and …. 365 new disappointments. Happy New Year full of joy and laughter!

– May the New Year be like a fireworks factory: full of potential if you don’t play with fire.

– Welcome, New Year! Just be sure you wipe your feet at the door, and don’t walk all over me like last year did.

– Happy New Year! Spoiler alert–it’s going to feel the same.

Best Happy New Year Funny Wishes

– Let’s sparkle in the New Year. Or maybe sweat just a little.

– 2023–time to grab the bull by the horns and show it who’s boss.

– Happy New Year! Let’s pop the cork and start breaking the rules!

– 2023 is in the rearview mirror, and 2023 is a big, open highway. Roll on, Baby, and watch for squirrels!

– I hope the New Year is fruitful and appealing. Like bananas. I love bananas.

– It’s a new year. Let’s get it right so we won’t be left.

– In the New Year, let’s run around together. Literally. We need to lose weight.

– My New Year’s resolution is to actually use up all the lotion, Chapstick, hand sanitizer, and other crap that hangs out in the bottom of my purse.

– This year, I resolve to remember why I came into the room.

– May your new year smell like a new car and never run out of gas.

– Instead of saying, “Happy New Year,” couldn’t we just break it into months? You know, like, “Happy February!” I function better with smaller tasks.

– Here’s hoping you can say whoa to the woe this year.

– This year, may your dough flow and your skin glow! Happy New Year with love and laughter!

– If the New Year was an infomercial, I’d throw in another one for the price of shipping! I hope 2023 delivers!

– Have you ever wondered how Father Time becomes a little baby each year? At midnight, let’s watch to find out what he’s drinking.

Best Happy New Year Funny Wishes

– If we’re friends on Facebook, does that mean I can kiss you at midnight?

– In 2023, let’s live dangerously! I’ll get some scissors, and we can run with them!

– Will you kiss me at midnight?
Will you hold me very tight?
Will you promise me delight?
Will it all be worth frostbite?

– It’s New Year’s Eve! Let’s get bubbly, Baby!

– In 2023, let’s resolve to lose the weight and lose the wait!

– It’s New Year’s! Let’s celebrate until the champagne runs over our chins and confetti is stuck in our hair.

– Who needs firecrackers to celebrate New Year’s Eve? I’ll be your personal ball of fire, and I promise you won’t get burned!

– The New Year is going to be sweet like a big bite of your favorite ice cream! Just don’t let it give you a brain freeze!

– Sweet dreams to 2023! May 2023 wake you up like a pot of strong coffee! Happy New Year with laughter and happiness!

– Here’s hoping the New Year is a fancy yacht cruising you to amazing destinations, and that you weather all the storms without puking your guts out.

– It’s a new year; I get a new chance,
Could I get a cash advance?

– In the New Year, may we win the lottery.
Just the thought makes my eyes watery!

– It’s a new year; let’s live it up!
We’ll pick some other year to act grown up!

– New Year, new start, even if you’re an old f@rt. Happy New Year full of joy and laughter

– Happy you near. oops! Happy New Year!

Best Happy New Year Funny Wishes

– New Year? They say, “Keep calm and carry on,” but I prefer to panic and stop dead in my tracks.

– I think the Baby New Year needs a diaper change.

– I have a big pile of regrets from last year to sweep out the door, so I can start on a new pile.

– My New Year’s resolution is to dream more. I guess that means I’ll need to sleep a lot.

– In 2023, I want to be a role model, as soon as I figure out what my role is.

– Well, it’s a new year. Back to the drawing board. Happy New Year with love, kisses & laughter!

– 2023 is toast, and 2023 is the best thing since sliced bread.

– You have this year in the palm of your hand. Don’t squeeze the life out of it.

– Cheers to the New Year, but booze to forget the old one.

– If the New Year gives you a swift kick in the pants, just use the momentum to keep moving forward.

– The coming New Year is no joke. It just feels funny.

– Wishing you a new year filled with all your favorite things: sequins, sarcasm, and shenanigans.

– Does it worry you just a little that we need alcohol to face another year?

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