Snoop Dogg’s physician Gerald Schwartz of The Mayo Clinic has concluded that the rapper has smoked himself “retarded” after a thorough examination of the video for “Sensual Seduction.”
We don’t use the phrase “retarded anymore,” but in this situation, it simply seemed to fit,” Schwartz remarked, brow furrowed and hands flailing in the air as though it was genuine concern. The persistent usage of marijuana by Snoop starting to take its toll on The Doggfather.
His subsequent forays into pornography, youth football, and whatever Doggy Fizzle Telefizzle was are further evidence of his burnout, “The unfortunate reality is that 98.3% of Snoop Dogg’s cerebral synapses are smothered in THC like birds dying on the beach after an oil spill,” he wrote in an interview with Rolling Stone in 2012.
When Mr. Dogg was admitted to the Mayo Clinic, he filled out a questionnaire, which Schwartz presented.
“Wow! This is amazing!” Dogg’s name was written as Calvin Broadizzle Deezle on a Mayo admissions questionnaire, according to Schwartz. To make matters worse, the patient has displayed common symptoms of schizophrenia, such as asking repeatedly for a voice box to sing into and questioning whether or not the staff knows whether or not he is a freak. Additionally, he kept saying, “Bootsy” again and over.
Let’s Cut to the Chase, There is Never a Bad Time to Post a Zapp Album Cover
In response to a request for comment from the media on Dogg’s health, Dr. Dre declined to do so, claiming he was too preoccupied with his own daily regimen of power shakes and bench pressing baby elephants.
A former Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre partner have spoken out about his late brother’s death: Warren G.
After Warren G said, “Snoop…man…Snoop enjoys his marijuana,” the rapper looked up at the sky with a sigh and stared at the stars. “I don’t understand why so many people are still interested in him,” he says.
Do you aware that since 1997, he’s spewed the same 16 bars in every verse? What about you, dear reader? Greetings, this is Warren G. Aren’t you all familiar with the term “Regulate?” If you liked “This is the Shack,” you’ll love “This Is the House.”
Snoop Dogg gathered reporters at his home in the hills outside Chino, California, to rebut stories of Schwartz’s devastating ideas after first rejecting several interview requests. Hip-hop artist T.I., born and raised in Long Beach, California, made his presence known by waving his finger at the assembled journalists.
“You’ll discover that the fizzle is off…
To this day, Snoop Dizzle remains the top wizzle. Bitches, pizzle, and scumbags. Pizzle.”
With a wave, an air pimp-slap, and a diabolical laugh, Dogg ushered the gathering out. Schwartz, on the other hand, maintains that Dogg will be returning to the Mayo Clinic in two weeks for a highly experimental treatment for the brain he has received there.
“We’re going to do all we can to get as much of his brain matter back as possible,” Schwartz added. On a daily basis, we’ll limit him to a maximum of five blunts and two glasses of Gin and Juice.
We’re also considering showing Snoop Dogg reruns from The L Word, notably his performances as ‘Slim Daddy,’ and playing him an unending loop of The Chronic and Doggystyle.
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